Why Healing Feels Harder Before It Feels Better
If you’ve started intentionally working on your anxiety and emotional triggers, you may have experienced something confusing:
You began healing…And suddenly things felt heavier. Emotions you thought were gone resurfaced. Triggers felt louder. You questioned whether you were actually making progress.
And maybe you wondered: “Why does this feel worse?” “Am I going backward?” “Did I make it worse by digging into this?”
Let me reassure you: Healing often feels harder before it feels better, not because you’re failing, but because you’re finally feeling what you used to suppress.
The Myth: Healing Should Feel Instantly Peaceful
Many Christian women expect that once they start praying more intentionally, journaling, or working through a structured process, peace should arrive immediately. When that doesn’t happen, they assume: “This isn’t working.” “I’m not doing it right.” “Maybe I should stop.”
But healing is not the absence of discomfort. It’s the presence of truth.
Scripture reminds us:
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32 NIV)
But truth often surfaces what has been buried. Freedom comes after awareness, not before it.
What’s Actually Happening When Healing Feels Harder
When you begin to heal intentionally, especially through the phases we discussed, Acknowledge, Understand, Release, and Rebuild, something shifts internally.
You stop avoiding. And avoidance has often been your nervous system’s survival strategy.
When avoidance decreases:
Emotions rise
Memories resurface
Your body reacts
Old beliefs become visible
This is not regression. It’s exposure. And exposure is necessary for transformation.
Phase 1 & 2 Are Often the Most Uncomfortable
In the Acknowledge and Understand phases, you’re no longer distracting yourself from your triggers. You’re naming them. You’re tracing them. You’re connecting patterns. And that can feel destabilizing at first.
Proverbs 20:5 says:
“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” (NIV)
Drawing something out requires stirring the water. And stirred water looks messy before it becomes clear.
Your Nervous System Is Adjusting
There is also a physiological component to this. If you’ve lived in survival mode for years, your body is used to:
Hypervigilance
Suppression
Over-functioning
Emotional shutdown
When you begin regulating instead of suppressing, your nervous system doesn’t immediately trust the change. It may react louder before it settles. That doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your body is learning safety in a new way.
Why This Stage Is So Easy to Quit
This is the stage where many women stop because discomfort can feel like danger.
They think: “I was coping better before.” “At least I wasn’t crying this much.” “Maybe I should just leave it alone.”
But leaving it alone often means returning to suppression. And suppression always resurfaces later, usually stronger.
Galatians 6:9 reminds us:
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (NIV)
Healing requires endurance, especially in the middle.
What Makes This Stage Different From Breakdown
It’s important to differentiate between being overwhelmed without support, and being stretched within a process. When healing is structured, discomfort has direction. You’re not spiraling, you’re processing. You’re not unraveling, you’re reorganizing.
In my own journey, there was a season where I cried more after starting therapy and structured healing than I had in years.
But those tears weren’t chaos. They were release.
And I’ve seen the same pattern in many of the women I’ve worked with. The ones who stay in the process, even when it feels heavy, are the ones who experience sustainable change.
The Turning Point
Healing begins to feel lighter when:
You recognize triggers without panic
Emotions rise without overwhelming you
You respond differently instead of reacting
Old patterns lose intensity
That shift doesn’t happen at the beginning. It happens after the middle.
Romans 12:2 says:
“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (NIV)
Renewal is gradual. Transformation is progressive. Peace grows over time.
If Healing Feels Hard Right Now
Let me say this clearly, hard does not mean wrong. Heavy does not mean failing. Uncomfortable does not mean regressing. Sometimes it means you’re finally doing the deep work. And deep work disturbs shallow coping.
If you’re walking through the Acknowledge and Understand phases and it feels intense, that may be evidence that you’re no longer running. You’re healing.
If You Want Support Through This Stage
This is exactly why structured guidance matters. Inside Empowered to Transform, I walk women step-by-step through these phases so they don’t misinterpret discomfort as failure. You don’t have to navigate the middle alone. Healing may feel harder before it feels better, but better is coming when you stay the course.
👉🏽 If you want support walking through these phases with clarity and direction, learn more about Empowered to Transform here.
You are not behind.
You are becoming.
